Dealing in Hope

Napoleon once said that ‘a leader is a dealer in hope’. During the Tokyo 2020 Olympics I have been following the progress of the Indian women’s field hockey team. (I served in India for nine years and all three of my children played representative hockey there.) I have been inspired by the incredible story of hope from Rani Rampal, the Indian ladies’ hockey captain. In her own words…

“I wanted an escape from my life; from the electricity shortages to the mosquitoes buzzing in our ear when we slept, from barely having two square meals to seeing our home getting flooded when it rained. My parents tried their best, but there was only so much they could do – Papa was a cart puller and Maa worked as a maid.

There was a hockey academy near my home, so I’d spend hours watching players practise – I really wanted to play. Papa would earn Rs 80 a day (under 80 pence) and couldn’t afford to buy me a stick. Every day, I’d ask the coach to teach me too. He’d reject me because I was malnourished. He’d say, “You aren’t strong enough to pull through a practice session.”

So, I found a broken hockey stick on the field and began practising with that – I didn’t have training clothes, so I was running around in a salwar kameez. But I was determined to prove myself. I begged the coach for a chance.

But when I told my family, they said, ‘Girls are supposed to do household work – and we won’t let you play in a short skirt.’ I’d plead with them saying, ‘Please mujhe jaane do. If I fail, I’ll do whatever you want.’ My family reluctantly gave in.

Training would start early in the morning. We didn’t even have a clock, so mom would stay up and look at the sky to check if it was the right time to wake me.

At the academy, it was mandatory for each player to bring 500 ml of milk. My family could afford only 200 ml; without telling anyone, I’d mix the milk with water and drink it because I wanted to play.

My coach supported me through thick and thin; he’d buy me hockey kits and shoes. He even allowed me to live with his family and took care of my dietary needs. I’d train hard and wouldn’t miss a single day of practice.

I remember earning my first salary; I received Rs 500 (under £5) after winning a tournament and gave the money to Papa. He hadn’t ever held so much money in his hands before. I promised my family, “One day, we’re going to have our own home,” I did everything in my power to work towards that.

After representing my state and playing in several championships, I finally got a national call up at the age of 15! Still, my relatives would only ask me when I was going to get married. But Papa told me, “Play to your heart’s content.” With my family’s support, I focused on doing my best for India and eventually, I became the captain of the Indian hockey team!

Soon after, while I was at home, a friend papa used to work with visited us. He brought along his granddaughter and told me, ‘She’s inspired by you and wants to become a hockey player!’ I was so happy; I just started crying.

And then in 2017, I finally fulfilled the promise I made to my family and bought them a proper house. We cried together and held each other tightly!

And I’m not done yet; this year, I’m determined to repay them and Coach with something they’ve always dreamed of — a gold medal from Tokyo.”

They didn’t win Gold this year (GB won the bronze medal match against the Indian ladies) but I wouldn’t be surprised if they do in 2024 in Paris if they all demonstrate such determination and passion as Rani Rampal. She is truly ‘a dealer in hope’ and has now inspired many to dream their dreams into reality.

Love conquers all

In the wake of the last-gasp failed penalties at the Euro football finals a week ago, most of us were appalled at the racist comments on social media and then the defacing of footballer Marcus Rashford’s mural which followed. (For those reading this who are not British, Marcus Rashford is a Premiership and England footballer – soccer – who is black and has been vocal on a number of key social issues in the UK, not least securing school lunches in the holidays for the most disadvantaged children.) However, I was then moved this week by the positive response to the defacing of the Marcus Rashford mural in Manchester – messages of hope, love and reconciliation with pictures of hearts, flags and flowers. In Proverbs 16:7 we read: ‘When the Lord takes pleasure in anyone’s way, he causes their enemies to make peace with them’ – and I pray this happens with those who have lashed out with abuse, unkindness and hatred.

One of the greatest examples of someone who responded with love in the face of hatred was Abraham Lincoln, the sixteenth President of the USA. Born into poverty, Lincoln was faced with adversity throughout his life. He lost eight elections, failed twice in business and suffered a nervous breakdown. He could have quit many times – but he didn’t, and because he didn’t give up, he is now considered to have been one of the greatest presidents in the history of the United States of America.

One of Abraham Lincoln’s earliest political enemies was Edward Stanton. In one speech he called Lincoln a ‘low, cunning clown’. In another he said, ‘It’s ridiculous to go to Africa to see a gorilla when you can find one just as easily in Springfield, Illinois’. Lincoln never responded in kind and, when elected President, he appointed Stanton as Secretary of War, explaining to the incredulous that ‘he’s the best man for the job’. Years later when Lincoln was slain and his body lay in state, Edward Stanton looked down with tears in his eyes and said, ‘There lies the greatest ruler of men the world has ever seen’. His animosity had been broken by Lincoln’s long-suffering, non-retaliatory spirit.

It is so easy to gloss over the poetry of Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 13, but let’s remember that these are the words of someone who was frequently thrown into prison for doing good, given 40 lashes five times, beaten with rods three times, shipwrecked three times, starved, denied water, stoned and left cold and naked (cf 2 Corinthians 11). As we re-read what Paul wrote about love, let’s see what we can do to apply at least one of these actions to our daily lives – and thus be part of the fight to ensure love conquers all:

‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails’ (1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 NIV)

Smoke alarm moments!

I recently attended an excellent conference organised by CCE (Centre for Chaplains in Education) on the theme, ‘People of Hope in times of change‘. One of the workshops was led by Dr Kate Middleton (not a royal personage!) who spoke engagingly about mental health issues facing young people today. It was an upbeat message but she did relate, from her work with teenagers especially, how some no longer look forward to the future with keen anticipation but consider it may now be ‘rubbish’. Many adults perhaps also share this jaundiced view of the future. She then encouraged us to consider how we might help change this perception.

Wired brains

Our brains are wired to recognise three ‘systems’ in particular: threats, a drive for pleasure and a sense of clam and soothing. Unfortunately, perhaps, the only one ‘turned on’ all the time is ‘threat’: whilst a necessary response mechanism to perceived and real danger (a speeding car, an aggressive dog, a sharp drop…) it is also increasingly engaged by a negative and scaremongering Press which causes a ‘smoke alarm’ reaction in us. We rush to detect the danger which we then spend time analysing, dwelling over and imagining further. There may indeed be a ‘fire’ but more often than not it’s a false alarm – an insect walking across the sensor, a battery which has run down or a faint wisp of harmless moisture. We need to find ways to balance threat’s adrenalin with dopamine, stimulated by a drive to engage in pleasurable hobbies, sport and work routines. In addition, threat and desire are best aligned with the soothing effects of oxytocin which is released through positive social connections and love.

Hormones

I am no scientist and won’t pretend to understand what these hormones are, but I do relate to the need for all of us, and not just young people, to engage each harmoniously. Dr Middleton recommended three measures whereby we can take control of our wellbeing and, in modelling them (particularly to family members and young people damaged emotionally by the lockdowns and the pandemic), help others to do the same. The first is doing something over which we can exercise personal control: this might be engaging in art, building a Lego model, tidying out a cupboard or completing a puzzle. The second suggestion involves ways to stimulate endorphins, chemicals released by the body to relieve stress and pain: exercise, social connections and engaging in ‘awe’ such as watching birds soar, clouds move and stars sparkle. Finally, we should pursue joy (safely and legitimately!) by making time for those hobbies and pursuits we so enjoy.

Listen

I believe there is every reason to expect that we shall emerge from the difficulties of these past two years stronger, resilient, more caring and complete but we need to be gentle on ourselves, take sensible advice and listen wisely (and not just to the ‘smoke alarms’). As it says in Proverbs 16:4, ‘Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones’.

Rubbishing resilience!

Key expressions in school

When I first started out in teaching in 1980, there were several key expressions doing the rounds. ‘The photocopier’s on the blink again’, is a polite form of what I regularly heard on teaching practice. ‘Where’s the banda paper?’ was another refrain as was a line from a Riding Lights Christian sketch about the Prodigal Son – a Social Worker from Camden Town saying (as she dragged on her cigarette), ‘I really care about the kids’!

I certainly did (and do) ‘care about the kids’ and for me a buzz-word in education was ‘holistic’. I wanted to involve pupils outside of the classroom with activities and sport as much as I wanted to inspire them academically inside. (I still do.) As the 1980s moved on into the next decade, a key educational term was ‘cross-curricular studies’. I remember teaching History and English at a rural boarding school in Scotland (Glenalmond): we re-enacted Shakespeare’s Macbeth among the trees and paths of the school drive before returning indoors to research Medieval Scottish monarchs and their wars whilst plotting their campaigns on large-scale maps before going into the wonderful Episcopal Chapel and trying to imagine how they worshiped. It was an incredibly creative time and, I think, great fun for all concerned – but this phase didn’t last the early 1990s.

Differentiation – for all

Next we were on to ‘differentiation’ and this seemed much more challenging. The core subjects of Maths, English and Science – as well as Modern Foreign Languages and the Classics – were safe from interference as they stuck rigidly to their setting. Humanities’ teachers, however, had a challenging time devising ‘hands on’ lessons which allowed pupils of all abilities to access the curriculum and be stretched accordingly. This emphasis definitely had the advantage of ensuring teaching material and approaches were always being re-examined. I remember one priceless lesson with a mixed-ability Year 9 Religious Studies class. We were considering the run-up to Easter and I happened to point to a picture on the wall which was a reproduction of Leonardo’s ‘The Last Supper’. Quick as a flash, one boy blurted out: ‘Ah, sir, that’s the one with Jesus’ wife in it’. The Da Vinci Code has a lot to answer for!

Resilience and relationships

In more recent years much has been said about ‘resilience’ as part of the character-building we pride ourselves with in schools (and that’s not just for the pupils). Many school ‘Mission Statements’ now contain this word and in my last school (Ballard in New Milton, Hampshire) we put it into our list of pupil expectations. I happen to like the word and the grit and determination it tends to inspire. Recently, however, I read an article by Andy Wolfe (Deputy Chief Education Officer for the C of E @mrawolfe) in the TES, in which he calls on us to re-think the concept of resilience – and I warm to his reasoning.

Resilience as a word has Latin roots and from there to an old English word, ‘to resile’, which means variously ‘to return to the same place’, ‘to spring back’ and ‘to return to normal’. Considering these definitions, the word is much less inspiring than we would wish. Andy Wolfe quotes from a recent conversation with a Headteacher which rather sadly sums this up: ‘Resilience for me means coping until I retire’.

In the New Testament (and the book of Romans), St Paul (who knew a thing or two about opposition, heartache and struggle) wrote this: ‘We know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; character, hope’. Andy Wolfe argues: ‘Re-thinking resilience offers a different lens to re-imagine our present situation. It can help us move beyond the idea of just getting through or coping. In the most difficult situations we face at school, it is primarily the formation of character (as opposed to technical competencies) that defines our response and shapes our relationships’. Andy quotes another Headteacher who uses a telling phrase which I like a lot: ‘I need the courage to tell a more realistic story’.

The courage to tell a more realistic story

Staff, pupils and parents need to see that we, too, have struggles and don’t have all the answers. If we endeavour to let times of difficulty shape and mould us positively so we emerge all the stronger; then our pupils (and others) will see that the teacher is also learning and not simply doing and repeating. Learning and Teaching rather than Teaching and Learning – I feel a new expression emerging!