Love conquers all

In the wake of the last-gasp failed penalties at the Euro football finals a week ago, most of us were appalled at the racist comments on social media and then the defacing of footballer Marcus Rashford’s mural which followed. (For those reading this who are not British, Marcus Rashford is a Premiership and England footballer – soccer – who is black and has been vocal on a number of key social issues in the UK, not least securing school lunches in the holidays for the most disadvantaged children.) However, I was then moved this week by the positive response to the defacing of the Marcus Rashford mural in Manchester – messages of hope, love and reconciliation with pictures of hearts, flags and flowers. In Proverbs 16:7 we read: ‘When the Lord takes pleasure in anyone’s way, he causes their enemies to make peace with them’ – and I pray this happens with those who have lashed out with abuse, unkindness and hatred.

One of the greatest examples of someone who responded with love in the face of hatred was Abraham Lincoln, the sixteenth President of the USA. Born into poverty, Lincoln was faced with adversity throughout his life. He lost eight elections, failed twice in business and suffered a nervous breakdown. He could have quit many times – but he didn’t, and because he didn’t give up, he is now considered to have been one of the greatest presidents in the history of the United States of America.

One of Abraham Lincoln’s earliest political enemies was Edward Stanton. In one speech he called Lincoln a ‘low, cunning clown’. In another he said, ‘It’s ridiculous to go to Africa to see a gorilla when you can find one just as easily in Springfield, Illinois’. Lincoln never responded in kind and, when elected President, he appointed Stanton as Secretary of War, explaining to the incredulous that ‘he’s the best man for the job’. Years later when Lincoln was slain and his body lay in state, Edward Stanton looked down with tears in his eyes and said, ‘There lies the greatest ruler of men the world has ever seen’. His animosity had been broken by Lincoln’s long-suffering, non-retaliatory spirit.

It is so easy to gloss over the poetry of Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 13, but let’s remember that these are the words of someone who was frequently thrown into prison for doing good, given 40 lashes five times, beaten with rods three times, shipwrecked three times, starved, denied water, stoned and left cold and naked (cf 2 Corinthians 11). As we re-read what Paul wrote about love, let’s see what we can do to apply at least one of these actions to our daily lives – and thus be part of the fight to ensure love conquers all:

‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails’ (1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 NIV)

‘The past is for reference and not for residence’

I have just returned from an exhausting but exhilarating week with nineteen teenagers as part of a Rekonnect Camp run by a Christian organisation called Global Connections. I first started helping three years ago and have found it to be as much a help for myself as it is for youngsters today.

TCKs

Kriss Akabusi, the Olympic athlete, made the statement above and this resonates with me. I was born in Nigeria, brought up in Ghana and educated in Scotland at boarding school. In recent years I have come to call myself a TCK – a Third Culture Kid – and this has helped to add further meaning to my early years. As an historian I can also relate to Akabusi’s statement: we need to understand the past, even enjoy its study, and to learn from it where applicable – but we mustn’t live in the past.

Hidden immigrants

At my first official ‘date’ in 1976 with the lovely lady who became my wife, I wore a long, flowing, Nigerian robe. It says a great deal for my wife that she wasn’t immediately put off. It could so easily have been our first and last ‘date’! Without being able to express or articulate it then, here I was aged 19 years trying to ‘say’ that I have a past that was significant and worthy which helped to define who I was. To be more technical, I was (in the words of the Pol Van identity model) a ‘hidden immigrant’: I looked like I was white Caucasian British (apart from when I was wearing my Nigerian robes!) but inside I thought differently.

Many of the teenagers with whom I have lived alongside this past week are also ‘hidden immigrants’. To look at they seem wholly British: they have a British passport and speak perfect English. However, look more closely and you see the African and Asian bangles; listen more acutely and you can identify traces of the Hindi / Swahili / Mandarin / Thai / Japanese which they grew up speaking; ponder on their stories and you start to realise that they are actually global citizens – complex but genuine, needy and yet so able to give and to serve wholeheartedly.

Listening

Let’s not be so quick to judge from the outside – to see someone’s skin tone, hear their intonation and observe their ‘strange’ habits. Take time to listen and to learn, to understand and so to appreciate. Our society too readily rushes to separate and divide. The life experience of the TCK should help us to embrace and celebrate differences, not to dwell in the past but to acknowledge its impact and so to draw the best from it for the future.

Passing by ‘on the other side’?

I have just attended a richly international and multi-faceted wedding of a young man I used to teach in India. At my wedding breakfast table, of the eight people sat there, I discovered that three of us (all of whom looked on the ‘outside’ to be white British people) had been born in Nigeria.

Racism today

Apparently, when my maternal grandmother heard that my mother was to give birth in northern Nigeria, she was shocked: she told my mother that she would be doing the unborn baby (me) a disservice because being born in Africa meant the baby would be black! We might smile at this some 60 years later: surely we are much more enlightened, educated, tolerant and accepting today? Very sadly, reports of alleged racism in the White House, the apparent ineffectual ‘kick it out’ anti-racism campaign in football and the rise of the Far Right in Europe (including the UK), leads us to suppose that there has been little progress in this area.

When I hear taunts of ‘send him/her back to where he/she belongs’, I wonder where I belong? Born in Nigeria to Scottish/English parents (with some French, even Jewish bloodlines), schooled in Scotland but brought up in Ghana, where would I be ‘sent back to’ if someone in authority took exception to me? What about the English World Cup cricket team where players originating in Barbados, Dublin, Pakistan and New Zealand played under the Three Lions’ badge and Cross of St George (he of likely Turkish origin)?

Third Culture Kids (TCKs)

Later this summer I shall be helping out at a ‘camp’for ‘third culture kids’ (TCKs). These are young people whose passport may say they are British (like mine), but who perhaps have ‘mixed race’ parents, were born somewhere in Asia or Africa, have always lived outside of the UK apart from the odd trip to visit family and friends, and are now coming ‘home’. Much time on this ‘camp’ will be spent helping the TCKs understand aspects of modern Britain with which they might be unfamiliar – such as travelling on public transport, eating ‘British’ food, going to a school or college in the UK and experiencing peer pressure in which alcohol, sex or drugs might play a significant part. Sadly, too, we shall need to spend time considering racism and discrimination – even hostility – from some in society who are also entitled to British passports (but may never have traveled beyond English shores – or only as far as a ‘little England’ enclave in Spain or the Mediterranean).

Welcoming, understanding and accepting

We look to our politicians and to other figures in public life to set an example of acceptance and welcoming of those who are seemingly different but, at root, this understanding must begin and develop closer to home within our families, amongst our friends, in our schools and workplaces. We need to be prepared to ‘stand up and be counted’ when we come across racism or else we risk ‘passing by on the other side’ and leaving the ‘stranger’ in the ditch to be ignored (at best), jeered at, spat upon, mocked – even attacked. I was born and lived in Africa and I’ve worked in India: I feel immensely privileged to have this heritage and opportunity to look ‘beyond myself’. Whatever our background and circumstances, I hope we all might re-programme ourselves to be more accepting – even welcoming – to the ‘stranger’ and be prepared to help others to do the same.